In more innocent times advertising propositions weren't - and had no need to be - sophisticated beasts. 'Tastes better', 'Works faster', 'Washes whiter' - that kind of thing. The public trusted companies on the whole and besides, brand choices were fairly limited.
Today, of course, the consumer is considerably more savvy, with a greater understanding of communication processes and marketing techniques than ever before. So advertisers have had to raise their game, make the offering more complex, more compelling and more intelligent. Sadly they don't seem to have bothered.
Take, for example, the latest campaign for a well known bank. Now, banks are in something of a tricky situation what with the ruination of the world's economies and them showing their contrition by paying themselves vast amounts of public cash in order to bathe in the finest brandies and laugh manically as marble skinned maidens smooth their bodies with rare oils.
Naturally then, their response to this problem of popular perception has been to create a pretend radio studio and have barely sentient characters acting like three year olds banging on about 'high-fives' in order to convince us that a five quid handout a month is sufficient compensation for years of inflated charges and the aforementioned chicanery with our tax dollars. What they seem to be saying is this: 'You're a bunch of morons, we know you're a bunch of morons, look - we've even populated our ads with morons to show exactly how moronic we know you are. But here's a fiver, now run along like good little muppets'.
At a time when people can only regard their finances with the seriousness reserved for events like imminent nuclear assault, it's a wonder this particular institution isn't enjoying the level of abuse normally directed at MPs and international footballers who score with their hands.
To re-enforce this policy of patronising one's customers with barely believably rubbish points of difference, an electricity company of some renown is now boasting that we only have to pay for the power we use, rather than stumping up for something we've never had via estimated bills.
Well, just fancy that! We are all surely drawn like maggots to a dead cat by the promise of only paying for something we've actually had. What a novelty, what fairness, what generosity. Because usually, when visiting say, the supermarket, we're all used to being presented with a charge for goods the retailer thinks we may have chosen or may choose in the future, rather than the actual contents of our trolleys. So this new approach should prove all but irresistible.
If these brands honestly believe cheap concessions, and clumsy attempts to convey them, indicate anything other than their belief that we're all so broke and desperate that we will gladly accept the smallest crumb of hope, then they should go to their rooms and have a good long think about what they're doing.
Because right now, they are simply adding to the European cynicism mountain with alarming and unacceptable speed.
Magnus Shaw, February 2010
